So, Blogger being shut down messed up my "writing every day" thing. Thanks, guys.
Anyway . . .
When I was a senior in high school, my Dad gave me this CD. I'm not really into the whole "inspirational music" deal. Neither is my Dad (in fact, I don't even know how he came across this CD), but he said he heard one of the songs and it made him think of me. I was thinking of some of the lyrics as I was showering this morning:
We are reaching for the future
We are reaching for the past
And no matter what we have we reach for more
We are desperate to discover
What is just beyond our grasp
But maybe that's what heaven is for
Lately, I've been doing a lot of reaching. I dream of a future where we're not living from paycheck to paycheck and crossing our fingers that it will all work out at the end of the month. I dream of the past, where I had good friends and felt like I was important to people. I reach for better opportunities, a better situation . . . and I have an infinite capacity to be dissatisfied. (I think there's a fine line between the dissatisfaction that keeps a person from becoming complacent, and the dissatisfaction that breeds ingratitude, and I've been on both sides of the line.)
One of my favorite pieces of music is a piece we played on tour with the BYU Chamber Orchestra, Ravel's "Le Jardin Feerique" from Ma mere l'Oye. To me, this piece symbolizes this perfection, just out of our reach. It always leaves us with a reason to keep our hands outstretched. Perfection like that doesn't exist for us--at least not in this world.
The cadence near the end (about 2:34 in this performance) always has something of that yearning, and that's why this movement often brings me to tears. (I happen to know I'm not the only one who feels this . . . in fact, I'm pretty sure I've read this on some of my colleague's blogs! Also, if you read the comment thread on the YouTube video, it's pretty apparent.)
It's always better to be left wanting a little more out of anything you might do. In fact, if you give in and try to find complete satisfaction, you'll probably never find it. It could very well be impossible.
So, here's to never being completely satisfied.