Thursday, December 1, 2011

Long Time, No Write

For the past three days, I've been suffering from incapacitating back pain.

I came to work on Tuesday, my first day back after the Thanksgiving holiday, and halfway up the stairs I felt a spasm in my back, paused, and continued up.  By the time I reached the top, I could barely stand, and I felt funny.

Stupidly, I continued back downstairs to my ECE room.  Again, I pretty much collapsed when I reached my destination.  By this point, the students were coming in.  I felt paralyzed, both by the situation and by my pain, and still fuzzy.  At one point, after having stood for a little while to give some incoming children hand sanitizer, I broke into a cold sweat ("Why are you so wet?," asked one girl. "Maybe because of the rain," she reasoned), and my co-worker said that my face looked funny, yellow.  I was lightheaded, a little nauseous, and in a horrible amount of pain.

I went to lie down in the back room, and some of the children followed me (thankfully, a few were equipped with play-stethoscopes, so I got immediate medical attention).  One of my favorite little boys (who always gets scared when I play "hurt" with some of the other children) was watching carefully, though I think most of the children were unaware of what was going on.  After a while, I was able to stand up, go back up stairs to collect my things, and make it back to the car, praying I'd make it home safely since it was painful to drive (especially to brake).

Yesterday, I had some numbness in my left foot, too, and a stretching pain down my leg.  I could barely sleep at all.

A tribute to my sweet, wonderful husband, though.  He is the best.

He stayed home from work to take care of me.  He helped me out of bed.  He helped me put my socks on.  He helped me get dressed, take a shower, eat my meals . . . AND he brought me chocolate.  And though I was writhing in pain, he never stopped telling me I was beautiful, giving me kisses, and massaging my back and feet when it didn't hurt too much to do so.  If I've ever wondered what love looks like, Andy has just shown me.

From our honeymoon. He is so handsome, too! 

I'm now on a pretty serious battery of pain killers, so I feel a lot better.  I can walk, get out of bed, and make it to the bathroom without passing out (a marked improvement)!

All in all, today I feel very grateful for the little things in life.  You never know how blessed you are to be able to walk, sit upright, and dress yourself until you have those things taken away from you, even temporarily.  My heart goes out to anyone who lives with physical pain as a constant in their life, or who doesn't have the ability to take care of him or herself.  It is hard, in so many ways.  I've only had the experience for two days, and they have probably been the worst two days of my life!

So, be grateful if you can move under your own power, free of pain.  It is a blessing.  A huge blessing. Trust me.

And be careful with your backs!  Again, trust me.


  1. Aren't you always yellow in the face?
    That's like saying I have brown spots all over me.

    Feel better, Rachel!

  2. Wow, that sounds pretty miserable! Not to be paranoid, but you may want to see a doctor to make sure there's nothing unusual going on (unless you know what caused the back pain). Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

  3. I'm glad the chitlins were able to give their excellent medical advice, though! I love you, feel better.

  4. What is going on with you? We're too young to be falling apart already! Have you seen a doctor? We'll add you to our prayers and I hope you get some rest soon!